The Legacy Mom Left Me

Maybe it's because she died on March 20th, now/already eight years ago, or perhaps because her birthday is March 22nd, but when March comes around I think of spring, and celebrate Mom. This year I wrote about what I inherited from her. It focuses on one aspect of my inheritance, which--as my family and friends know well--relates to the kitchen, and hosting. 

 

“I’m passing the baton to you!” my mother announces. It’s November, 1993. My second child, asleep in my arms, is six months old. My two-and-a-half-year-old daughter is running circles around us in my parents’ home.  Mom, in her cavalier, always-the-director way, is waving at the dining room table. She’s talking about my taking over Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners, as well as all other large family gatherings for which cooking is required. Though we’re five kids in our blended family,  I am my mother’s oldest, and the closest geographically. We’re staying with my parents until we find a rental not too far away. 

A knot in my stomach prevents me from objecting, and so I just nod, not wanting to go against my mother’s pronouncement.  Mom adds, “And make sure you prep enough in case we have extra guests!” Not having enough food is a fear that I’ve also inherited. 

I did take over those meals, starting with Thanksgiving of that year. I still have the pages from Working Mother magazine's November 1993 issue (see the image below!), and I continue to prepare some of those recipes. Now, thirty-three years and just about that many Thanksgivings later, the pages are wrinkled, taped, and stained. 

Holiday hosting has been a part of our family lore forever. Growing up, especially during the holidays and despite our lack of enthusiasm, all the kids were recruited as helpers and directed into service to set up, prep, and serve dinner for our usual 30-plus guests.  There was always a list, written in my mother’s famous script, masking-taped to our white-tiled kitchen wall.  She would update and cross out as she finished one of the tasks listed. 

Our duties ranged from setting the table and vegetable peeling and chopping,  to creating individual place cards with lettering and illustrations. Mom was big on guest seating arrangements. Tasks also  included passing hors d'oeuvres —caponata and crackers, or warm cheesy bites—assisting with the buffet set up, and clearing the table once guests finished their dinners. We also helped set up dessert, which usually included Mom’s Italian-style ricotta cheesecake, and pignoli cookies served with espresso. 

One sister, five years older than I, was given the privilege of reviewing Mom’s list along with her, and sitting next to Dad at the table.  My older brother, the oldest of all of us, was also given a seat with the grown-ups. My two younger siblings and I were at the children’s table for years. Mom primarily directed her commands to us younger ones, and spoke in requests to the older ones. At the kids’ table, we rolled our eyes and nudged each other in united jealousy.  

Perhaps because I bristled so at the bossiness of my mom, that part of entertaining I didn’t inherit. At least I don’t think so, though you might want to ask my husband and kids!  But for decades now, I’ve enjoyed my inheritance of hosting. I love planning a guest list, bringing friends together, designing a menu that includes drinks, appetizers, dinner, and dessert,  writing my shopping and prep list, setting the table, creating the environment, and making a playlist.    

My husband and I live in an apartment now. Our sit-down dinner parties no longer have the 30-plus guests of days gone by. However, my system remains. Menus are typed, printed, and saved for reference. Lists are also typed into my computer, and, like my mom, I enjoy crossing out items as I complete them. 

As I type just now, my son texts me, 

“I’m making salmon tonight. I want to make that sauce you make with dill, Grandma Sonia’s recipe.” 

I look through her old recipe notes, on index cards in a file box that I keep in a drawer near my cookbooks. I rifle through all the recipes and find this one, handwritten by my mom. I photograph it and send it to my son, and then follow up with a text.  

“You might want to double this," I tell him, "you know, in case some others come by.” 

 

Mom and Dad with an Angel :)

1993 Working Mother Recipes--and Some of My Menus!

The Table--From Our House

Buffet --All Set 

¡Viva México! Bringing Our Recent Trip Home--and Into the Kitchen

Alebrijes 

 “Este vestido me hace acordar de mi mamá…” I’m in a store in Oaxaca City, Mexico, looking at myself in wearing one of the many embroidered dresses, and telling the saleswoman, who’s concerned about my tears, that it reminds me of my mom.

My whole life, my mom talked about her time in Mexico—about the ubiquitous art—from figures like the alebrijes pictured here, to pottery,  silver jewelry, embroidery, and, of course, the huge variety of culinary offerings. My mom often braided my long hair with a ribbon and told me that was how the young girls in Mexico did it. Her paintings of Mexico, of a market scene and of a Day of the Dead celebration hang on my walls. Some of her many Mexican dresses from decades ago—as well as her Mexican jewelry—are in my home as well.

I fell in love with Mexico on my first visit, which was in  high school, during a summer vacation, when I visited for three weeks with my Mamaroneck High School Spanish teacher, Mrs. Rosa Andrews, and two classmates. We traveled by bus from Mexico City to San Miguel de Allende (where my father had lived), and then to Taxco and finally to Acapulco. At the time, I swore I would return to live there.

Since that time, I've had the pleasure of visiting on several occasions, mostly universities and conferences for work. I gave charlas (talks) and workshops to teachers about the teaching of English. 

But back to Oaxaca--and this recent Mexico trip...and bringing it home! 

Following the belief that the best way to get to know any destination is through the people, the markets, and the food. And so, I took a couple of food tours (more on that—and my latest idea—to come) and a cooking class in Puerto Escondido. The best was being able to bring it all home by recreating what I had learned. So, once we were back, I planned a dinner. 

Hibiscus Margarita 

First came the menu: I designed it based on what we enjoyed, to have a mix of colors and flavors, kept in mind the preferences of guests, alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks, and of course a great finish.

Second came my prep list: As always, I made a day-by-day plan (starting five days before) of what I could do (in between work!) to get everything set up. 

Nopalitos (Cactus) and Beans  

Mole Chicken and Red Rice 

Then came the setting the scene: Using colorful tablecloths, floral-printed napkins, and fresh flowers, I set up a buffet table with the plates, silverware, and napkins. Another folding table was set up as the bar. This was the best way I could economize on space; guests could serve themselves and find a seat. 

Partial view of the Buffet

Finally  came the photos: Using, as so many of us do, my fridge as a living photo album, I printed my favorites, and attached them to the door.

My "slide show" Fridge with Mexico Photos

 

Hope you’ll get some ideas from this. I’ve shared my mom’s Mexican cookie recipe below. Thanks for reading—and please share as you see fit, and of course let me know if you have any questions!

Love always,

Arlen

Dinner Title: Regreso a Mexico (Return to Mexico)

·      Agua Jamaica Margaritas (Hibiscus Margaritas)
·       Beer + Wine
·       Lemon Water and Sparkling Water

 

Guacamole  + Totopos—and carrots and bell peppers

Corn, Tomato, and Jalapeño Salsa
Queso Oaxaqueño  
Salsa Verde 

·       Mole Chicken + Fresh Tortillas
Nopalitos (Cactus) with Tomatoes and Onions
Beans—with Hoja Santa
Mexican Red Rice 

      Ensalada + Jalapeño Dressing

·       Mexican Chocolate Brownies
Sonia’s Mexican Chocolate Cookies

          Fresh Fruit Salad  

 

Sonia’s Mexican Chocolate Slice-and-Bake Cookies Recipe

 Arlen Gargagliano

New to the chocolate-meets-spice trend? Thanks to my mom, I was introduced to that combo many moons ago. She made these cookies for decades, starting when I was a little girl. This combination of spices leads to rich chocolate flavor with a sparky finish! Of course you can turn up the heat, if you’d like.   What’s nice about this recipe is the make-ahead feature: you can form the dough into logs, refrigerate—even freeze—and then slice them—and bake them--whenever you’re up for these sweet treats (and oh, did I mention they make the house smell fabulous?!).  Another great part of this cookie, aside from the taste, is the longer-term planning: The dough logs can be frozen for up to a month. To store, wrap the plastic-covered logs tightly  before freezing.  I usually thaw them in the refrigerator overnight prior to baking.

 

 Makes: About 40 cookies

 

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup  cocoa powder

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1/4 teaspoon fine salt

8 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 stick), at room temperature

1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1 large egg, at room temperature

1/2 teaspoon excellent-quality vanilla extract

 

1.       Whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, cinnamon, cayenne, and salt in a medium bowl to break up any lumps; set aside.

2.       Place the butter and sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment and beat on medium speed until lightened in color and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl and the paddle with a rubber spatula.

3.       Return the mixer to medium speed, add the egg and vanilla, and beat until just incorporated. Stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl and the paddle with the rubber spatula.

4.       Turn the mixer to low speed and slowly add the reserved flour mixture. Mix until just incorporated.

5.       Turn the dough out onto a clean work surface and divide it in half. Roll each portion into a log about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Wrap each log tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerate until firm, at least 2 hours and up to 3 days.

6.       When ready to bake the cookies, heat the oven to 350°F. Get sheet pans and parchment paper ready (or you can use a Silpat for baking).

7.       Take out the dough logs from the refrigerator, remove the plastic wrap, and slice the dough into 1/4-inch-thick rounds. Place the rounds about 1/2 inch apart on  2  parchment (or Silpat) covered baking sheets (about 20 cookies per sheet).

8.       Bake both sheets for 6 minutes. Rotate the baking sheets front to back and top to bottom and bake until the edges of the cookies are firm but the tops are still soft, about 6 to 7 minutes more.

9.       Place the baking sheets on wire racks and let cool for 5 minutes.  Using a flat spatula, transfer the cookies to the wire racks to cool—though they’re fabulous warm!

10.   Store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 3 days.